if you don't like avocados, then you don't like life.

It doesn’t pay to piss off NATURE. April 30, 2010

Filed under: humor — avocadoexplosion @ 3:19 pm
Tags: , , , , , , , ,

Well isn't that nice.

Where I sit at my workplace, there are tons of huge windows, so I get to see outside into what we like to call NATURE.  I am very fond of NATURE and like to be in it but I guess if I have to be cooped up in an office, this is an ok location because at least I can see it.  One day last year I was sitting around doing whatever the hell it is I do here (I don’t even know anymore) and the university’s landscaping team was milling around outside doing whatever the hell it is they do (I certainly don’t know what that is). 

One: These landscapers really REALLY suck at doing their jobs.  In the past year, they’ve planted six shrubs around the front of our building, and all of them have died.  No wait…there’s one bloom on that camellia in the corner even though it has no leaves.  Other than that, dead.  Dead like a dead zebra.  All of them.

Ok I lied about the dead zebra pictures. From now on you should expect to see a lot of them on this blog.

Two: I was sitting around that day, minding my own biznast, when suddenly I see a gigantic hawk fly right by the front doors of the building and knock this landscaping girl right on her ass.  It was epic.  It was like, he came out of nowhere, NOWHERE I TELL YOU! and I swear to god it was in slow motion too.  I seem to remember the hawk being roughly the size of this thing:

I could be wrong about its size, but I’m probably not.

I personally believe it was NATURE’s way of telling the landscapers that they suck at their jobs. 

NATURE doesn't tolerate bad landscaping jobs or mistaken career paths!


8 Responses to “It doesn’t pay to piss off NATURE.”

  1. Josh Says:

    dude, never ending story.. thats FALCOR if my memory serves me correctly!

  2. Counter Culture Clown Says:

    How come I don’t get to see big ass birds of prey taking out landscapers? I can’t stand landscapers. I have a blog planned about it, actually.

    You’re lucky though, hawks tend to only attack old ladies. And that’s just getting to be cliche. :\

    • I just feel lucky to have witnessed it- it had to be one of the best things I saw all of last year. Obviously it means I am way in tune with the cosmos. That’s the only thing it can mean, right?

      I personally think the cosmos and I share the same sense of humor. It laughs at other people’s expense(s?) too.

      I don’t even know what any of that means.

  3. aafuera Says:

    i’m in seattle now but damn i miss those hawks at the fmc. red-shouldered badasses.

  4. aafuera Says:

    I was. And loved every minute of it. Maybe enough to go back permanently. My wife and I are wandering for the year… and blogging about it soon. Indonesia will be home for the next 5 months.

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