Where I sit at my workplace, there are tons of huge windows, so I get to see outside into what we like to call NATURE. I am very fond of NATURE and like to be in it but I guess if I have to be cooped up in an office, this is an ok location because at least I can see it. One day last year I was sitting around doing whatever the hell it is I do here (I don’t even know anymore) and the university’s landscaping team was milling around outside doing whatever the hell it is they do (I certainly don’t know what that is).
One: These landscapers really REALLY suck at doing their jobs. In the past year, they’ve planted six shrubs around the front of our building, and all of them have died. No wait…there’s one bloom on that camellia in the corner even though it has no leaves. Other than that, dead. Dead like a dead zebra. All of them.
Two: I was sitting around that day, minding my own biznast, when suddenly I see a gigantic hawk fly right by the front doors of the building and knock this landscaping girl right on her ass. It was epic. It was like, he came out of nowhere, NOWHERE I TELL YOU! and I swear to god it was in slow motion too. I seem to remember the hawk being roughly the size of this thing:
I could be wrong about its size, but I’m probably not.
I personally believe it was NATURE’s way of telling the landscapers that they suck at their jobs.